Bad Blood
by secretfanficlover
Summary: Gift Fic: Liz Jean Tonks- Happy Birthday! Hope you like it. SquibHarry becomes distraught upon learning he will never live up to people's expectations. Warnings: angst, self-harm, suicide.


**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

* * *

Word Count: 1330

Title: Bad Blood

Note: OCC- Harry being a Squib makes him depressed because he always got told how special he was. I feel like the song Barbies- PInk, reflects the mood of the story. He doesn't want to grow up because the pressure of it all is too much.

Warnings: Self-harm, attempted suicide, angst

Beta: Aya

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**Gift Fic: Liz Jean Tonks**

[Pairing] Luna/Harry

[Genre] Friendship, Angst

[AU] Harry growing up with Sirius + Remus & SquibHarry

[Plot Point] self-harm

* * *

Hogwarts

Seasonally:

Days of the year: January 27th - Punch the Clock Day: Write about running out of time.

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It happened to be that Harry Potter was the most famous wizard of all time, and he hadn't even turned eleven yet. Sirius and Remus had did their best as his guardians to protect him, but also to teach him about his parents deaths. He read his name in the papers all the time, but there was something wrong with him. His guardians never spoke about it, neither did his best friend Luna Lovegood. He didn't seem to have any magic, he never had accidents like Luna were she moved things out of reach, or accidentally levitated a book. Harry wasn't stupid, but he chose to ignore the signs, of course he was magic, he was the famous Harry Potter, after all.

"Luna, show me how you do that," the ten-year-old Harry pleaded with her.

"Harry, I don't know how I did it, it was an accident," she insisted. The response made Harry mad, but he wasn't going to take it out on his only friend.

* * *

Harry's eleventh birthday was a cheerful event with large blue balloons that floated for weeks, and a large birthday cake with _Happy Birthday Harry_ written in blue icing. Luna, Remus and Sirius all sang for him. He smiled happily as he blew out his candles. This would be his last year in Grimmauld Place, next year he would be at Hogwarts, he just had to be.

His letter didn't arrive, and nobody said a thing. Maybe it was just late?

* * *

"Harry, you are too young," Sirius attempted when Harry wanted to learn a spell.

"Come on, Sirius, just a small one," he pleaded.

"Okay," he said, receiving a glare from Remus before Remus left the two of them alone.

Harry grinned so widely, holding his toy wand, and waiting for instructions.

"Repeat after me: _'reparo',_" Sirius said, moving his wand at a broken plate that put itself back together.

"_Reparo,_" Harry repeated, pointing at his own plate, and nothing happened. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five…" Sirius tried to say, but Harry dropped his wand to the ground and stomped his feet.

"Let's just face it, I'm _useless_, I have bad blood," Harry said.

"Never say that again!" Sirius insisted.

"I can't do it, Padfoot," he complained. He left the room furiously, and Remus joined Sirius in the room again.

Harry went to his room to calm down, and then he decided he was going to go get his wand, until he got his real one, this was the best he had. Maybe his wand was defective? Perhaps he could try Sirius's wand next time? Encouraged by this thought he went back downstairs, then he heard his guardians talking in the room, so he listened in.

"I just worry that he is too soft for this world," he overheard Sirius say.

"We need him to know," Remus argued. "He is a Squib, and when Luna leaves, he won't have a friend to talk to anymore."

_A Squib? _His heart was racing, no, this wasn't right. He was supposed to be famous, not a subject of laughter and ridicule. He swung the door open and they turned to look at him. He walked slowly and carefully over to his toy wand, snapping it in half and tossing it to the ground. Then he ran out again, sobbing loudly.

* * *

Harry stayed in his room all night, he didn't come out to eat or anything. The next day was Luna's birthday, so he eventually came out after she knocked on his door at around 10 AM.

"Come on, Harry, please," Luna asked. "Let's go to the park."

"Okay, it's your birthday," Harry said, squishing down his feelings in an attempt to have a nice day with his friend.

"Yes it is," she grinned cheerfully.

The two of them had a good time in the park, and then went to Luna's house since Mr Lovegood had prepared a special meal for the three of them.

"Macaroni and cheese, thanks Dad." Luna grinned.

"Yes, thank you sir," Harry said politely, dishing up for himself. While they sat eating a barn owl flew into the window, dropping a roll of parchment on the table. Harry eyed it suspiciously, it had the Hogwarts crest on it.

Luna squealed in delight, forgetting the food and opening it instantly. "It's my Hogwarts letter!" she cried once her eyes scanned the page.

"Oh my girl, I'm so proud of you," Mr Lovegood said, hugging his daughter. Harry's heart sank.

* * *

Every year Luna left it got harder, and when Harry turned fourteen he got into the knife drawer for the first time. He wanted to rid himself of his bad blood, he wanted to forget everything, he wanted to go back to a simpler time when he and Luna could play and have fun. Not worry about magic, or growing up so far apart. "We belong to different worlds," he muttered angrily, tossing her last letter onto the floor of his bedroom.

He had become so bitter and isolated the last year that he hardly replied to Luna's letters anymore, and his guardians left him to his own devices for the most part, assuming some teenage rebellion or something, he guessed.

'_Another day_,' Harry thought. '_And what has changed_?'

He had breakfast with Sirius and Remus, and then went up to sit in his room and wallow in self-pity when it occurred to him that every single day was going to be the same. He couldn't fathom getting a Muggle job, and every time he stepped foot outside, the famous Squib was on the front page. '_Let's end it,'_ he thought to himself, taking his blade hidden in one of his green pairs of socks in the bottom drawer.

Suddenly, his room door swung open, and Luna came rushing inside, followed by Sirius and Remus. Who both looked horrified.

"Just go," Harry said sadly. "I am only a burden on all of you."

Luna shook her blonde hair wildy. "No, Harry, we love you. I love you," she admitted.

"Are you insane or just an idiot?" Harry spat at her, and she looked at him like he hit her.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Remus yelled while Harry was distracted, and the blade went crashing into the wall.

"What in Merlin's name?" Harry swore when Sirius held his arms.

Luna was crying, she knew it was bad, but she never thought he would attempt to kill himself. The angle of the blade had shown them that he wasn't bluffing.

"Harry, you need counselling," Luna said, clearly she wasn't waiting for Remus or Sirius to explain as they looked too shocked to say a word.

"How did you even know?" Harry asked, suddenly exhausted from fighting, both himself and against the hold on him.

"I saw it," Luna said softly. "I got the gift of premonition."

Harry felt like he saw red, how is it she got everything?

"It's not all that great, you know," she added, correctly predicting the look on his face, but that didn't take a magical touch. She always knew him so well, they grew up like siblings.

"Then why now?" Harry asked, and when he stopped fighting, Sirius let him drop to the bed.

"The future could always change," she started. "But not this choice, this one…"

"I would have done it," Harry said softly.

"I know," Luna said, wiping a tear off her cheek. "That's what made me come here."

* * *

Harry woke up, he wasn't in his dark room with the blackout curtains closed. He was in a stark white room, everything bright and clinical. A single photograph of Harry, Luna, Sirius and Remus on his bedside table. It was going to take some time to adjust, but he would heal. The next time he wanted to call for help, he had everyone listening. There was still a process, but it had started, and all he could do was take one step at a time.


End file.
